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witbybrit

First Day

Such big steps for little shoes,

Little shoes

Which are Velcro and scuffed,

Wrapped around the spongey toes

Whose baby softness I used to squish against my lips.

You put on your ‘first day’ shirt,

The one you picked out all by yourself.

The one that cloaks the belly

That used to expand and deflate

Over my bare chest

In the middle of the night.

You’re ready I whisper quietly to myself.

Not entirely sure which one of us I’m talking to.

Your smile, brimming with excitement these last few days,

Shrinks subtly into apprehension as we reach the tarmac.

But the corners of your mouth still curl upwards,

Because you are brave and this is what big kids do.

The gloss in your eyes mirrors my own,

I blink to keep it in place,

To spare my cheeks,

Because I can also be brave and this is what mommies do.

I let go of the fingers that once

Reached for me in the moonlight

From the sway of our rocking chair.

Bye Mom

I love you too

And I watch those little shoes

Take able, timid steps

Through the red-brown double doors.

I linger

And stare

Because behind your oversized backpack

I can see the shadow of my baby

Disappear into a whole new world.



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